5 parenting tips that will help you in your first year of infancy

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5 parenting tips that will help you in your first year of infancy

I have been sitting around a few months, wondering what kind of informational and fun topics I can write about.

It finally struck this thick skull of mine, that I know a lot of stuff. I’ve lived through, and experience a lot of stuff. Why not write on it all.

Original concept, I know, I know. I’m a genius.

Okay, the truth is…Medium writers who are so incredibly kindhearted and giving, to share there experiences and lessons learned on Medium, from beginning to success, gave me the idea.

Having a baby is hard!

So yeah. Not going to beat around the bush here. If you want to be a serious, good, attentive, and fulfilling parent, the first step is to know that it’s not going to be a breeze. I’ll counter that slightly, later in this posting.

Some of you who read this may already be or have been parents. Most of you would probably click the heading, because you aren’t, are thinking about it, or are new infant parents, and want a heads up.

My qualifying background includes multiple psychology courses, including child psychology. I was a school board member. Oh, yeah, I raised four kids and finishing up my fifth.

Three girls, 2 boys, my second ex-wife, and a few cats once roamed our home. Now, It’s me and my youngest man, who is 11 going on 50, and a treasure to raise. Here’s my small argument to my statement about it most always being hard to raise an infant.

Sometimes, you get lucky, and get one of those kids that never complains, follows rules, is at peace with life, and never gets in trouble that they start. These will be your quiet infants. The ones who barely cry, and never complain about the small stuff. They see the world as old souls from birth, and their intelligence is sometimes off the charts, though, anyone should know that in itself is not a precursor to an easy-going infant.

However, you will know within a few weeks, what kind of kid you will be dealing with for 18+ years.

First tip

This idea is undoubtedly, but I like to fool myself into thinking, I am the original thinker of this concept. Probably not. Don’t want to steal anyone else’s thunder.

The first and foremost decision you can make the moment your child is born (because no planning ahead prepares you for that moment), is to look at them as a white piece of paper, environmentally.

Sure, they are loaded with both you and your mate’s genes. Yet, when they show up in this little speck of a globe, filled with 7.5 billion people, they are only innocent forms and molds of our past and present and represent the future to come. It’s now your job to begin writing their story with them until they are old enough to take over the pen.

So, here it is! Love!

After 5 children, and several chances to get this parenting thing right, I finally figured it all out with my last and youngest. Forget what the books of old tell you. Forget what your parents taught you if it wasn’t all love related. Forget Dr. Spock’s, and the Bible’s concepts of corporal punishment teaching lessons in little ones. You never need to harm your child or steal their innocence from them yourself. The world is going to do that eventually.

In order to instill the important nature of confidence, smart choices, patience, and that list that goes on and on, you must be the safe-keeper of your child’s heart and soul. You must create, not just the baby them self, but also the images, the words, the lessons, the environment, and the protection net on which they can count on and balance their learning years upon.

Second tip

This is easy to explain, but trust me…you will forget time and time again, trip after trip in the car. So, let this be a reminder that sticks in your head and an early warning.

Don’t wait any longer if you are expecting, or are new parents. Go to Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Target, wherever you must go, but go quickly and safely, and grab a stack of spit-up clothes for your shoulders. You’ll want the washable kind. I don’t know about this day in age, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone created throw-away spit-up cloths. Don’t go there. Too much money!

While you’re also stacking up on a couple boxes of diapers, and wipes get to the baby amenities aisle, and pick up this life-saver…a front-loading, shoulder strapping, baby hugging, carrying thingy-dingy (as some of us men might call it), and use it! I mean, use it…always…as much as you can…until the kid is popping out of it, and you can’t squeeze that little toddler baby fat into it anymore. In fact, grab two if you can afford it.

These two weapons against the infant year will save you hordes of laundry, hours of back-breaking, spine-rattling pain, while more importantly, bringing you and your baby closer together, heart to heart, beating as one.

Caught them in a spewing mode? No worries…that shoulder inches away is their landing pad and your puke protector.

Third tip

I’m sure you remember, I just told you that you can save your back from lots of pain. Well, not completely. You must be prepared with core strength in your waste, back, and stomach, because I’m sorry to tell you, but for the first year, at least, you will live on the floors of your house, picking up after your adventurous and playful infant, all day, every day.

Well, unless you're rich, I suppose. But, why would anyone want to pay someone else to enjoy some of the most enriching time with their own creation, in their child’s world, as one of them, while learning excellent on-the-job skills that will toughen you up at your other job, if you have one?

So, start hitting the gym, or your workout room a few months prior to birth, or get started now, if you are behind. Some crunches and sit-ups and jogging every day should do the trick. Your infant and baby count on this close, on the floor intermingling to establish security in themselves, and trust in others, through their own parents sacrifice and love, even if it’s painful for you.

Fourth tip

You have to, without missing the chance too many times, sleep when your infant, baby, or toddler sleep.

This is especially important for working new-parents, or with infants with colic, or that wake up a lot during the night. If you don’t get naps in at the same time they do, on a decently regular basis, you will find yourself passed out on your kitchen floor, taking an unexpected, and unplanned nap, and possibly a trip to the E.R. for some electrolytes, and sleep.

Do not sleep with your children on the couch or in their bedroom. The first time you start this during regular nap time, you will begin a new and unnecessary attachment in them, that eventually can become extremely hard to stop, and break the habit.

Now, I’m not a big bad wolf! Of course, taking an unscheduled nap with your precious gift is a must, but daily is getting edgy. Surely, letting your kids sleep with you here and there is nice for their sense of acceptance and security, as well, but it must be tempered, and either at an age they can’t remember before you stop, or at an age when you can talk clearly to them about it being an occasional opportunity to be close to the parents in a sub-consciously beneficial way.

In my experiences with my first daughter (oldest) and second son (youngest), was allowing them to sleep with us most nights actually until the age of 2, or so, then began introducing their bed as a nighttime option. A bed they have seen, time and again, in their own room when playing. They already know it’s coming at some point that way, and you already built them security at night, to be able to handle sleeping alone, and falling asleep within a few minutes.

My own three of the five children I raised all always went to bed when told, and fell asleep within minutes, no matter the noise in the home. Never a complaint.

There is more to this though, and it brings us to my fifth, but not completed list of helpful tips in raising your infant the first year, and into the toddler years.

Fifth tip

My final tip is possibly the most important for your newborn's future.

You can never start early enough, or do enough reading to your amazing offering to the world. You should start before they are born. Have conversations with your partner as much as possible, while sitting close, touching the belly while talking, putting the mouth right up to the stomach wall and singing, spelling, running the alphabet forward and backward, reading, debating kindly, and other small forms of educating the youngin’ from early in conception, and on into its first amazing year.

Keep reading every day. Multiple episodes of reading per day are best, broken down into shorter periods of time, as your infant, baby, and toddler will have a short attention span. At least, that’s the case for most kids. Some are born incredibly attentive. My youngest is one of them. Doesn’t miss a darn thing, never did, even in his first few weeks, he noticed all going on around him.

We began the alphabet in the second trimester, music, me singing, short easy books, different pitches, different sounding voices to prepare them for others’ sound, other than mommy and daddy, whom they hear most of the time.

Please, whether you sing or not, do this one incredible thing for your kids, which is one of the few beautiful things I remember about my dad’s early parenting years of old…singing lullabies and such to your kid, or kids, before bed. Sing it close, hold their hand, tussle their hair, go to the door and sing from their…mix it up for them each night. My favorite was “The Five Pennies” song from the same named movie with Danny Kaye. It’s an incredible tune, but difficult. Check it out.

Don’t sing though, until you have read at least one short story to your kids, or they will have a fit. Especially, since you will begin that the first night they stay at your house…if you want top readers at school, who ace everything and have already expanded their vocabulary and ability to think broader concepts prior to kindergarten. I had three of them. My other two are now at the top of their college education games, as well, and like you will be, I can’t be any prouder of them.

Hard work pays off when you look at raising your super-incredible human beings as humble, gracious acts of love that are more necessary than anything else you’ve ever imagined mattering to you.

Love being a parent. It goes way to fast…as they say!

Synagogue, Demagogue, Supremacists gone wild!

Synagogue, Demagogue, Supremacists gone wild!

A Pittsburgh Synagogue experienced a day they will never forget, with the shooting deaths of 11 people.


Police tape and memorial flowers are seen on Oct. 28, 2018, outside the Tree of Life Synagogue after a shooting there left 11 people dead in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh Synagogue experiences White Supremacy at its worst.

A Pittsburgh Synagogue, The Tree of Life, in the suburban section called Squirrel Hill was recently devastated by a needless shooting spree, killing 11 people, enacted by a known White Supremacist, under the FBI’s eye.

Irving Younger, Melvin Wax, Rose Mallinger, Bernice and Sylvan Simon, Jerry Rabinowitz, Joyce Fienberg, Richard Gottfried, Daniel Stein, David and Cecil Rosenthal were all gunned down by an alleged extreme racial hater, named Robert Bowers.
Who is Robert Bowers? See here:
US synagogue shooting: Who is Robert Bowers?
Details are slowly emerging about the man suspected of killing 11 worshippers at the Tree of Life synagogue in…www.bbc.com

For me, Robert Bowers represents what is the last remaining ugly stain up our nation. He represents all that is wrong with the world, wars, hunger, and the struggling poor. He is the answer to who is destroying our Constitutional rights.
Demagoguery unchecked

President Donald J. Trump is not the one to mostly blame for what has been a growing, and empowering cultural attitude reemerging across America, since Obama took power of the Oval Office in 2008. However, it is definitely Donald Trump who is instigating, and giving Presidential support to these animals purveying into the 21st Century, that should be filled with a realm of International love and Global Unity.
Demagoguery is a manipulative approach — often associated with dictators and sleazy politicians — that appeals to the worst nature of people. Demagoguery isn’t based on reason, issues, and doing the right thing; it’s based on stirring up fear and hatred to control people. For example, a politician who stirs up a fear of immigrants to distract from other issues is using demagoguery. Demagoguery is one of the most negative aspects of politics, but it’s also one that’s all too common. (https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/demagoguery)

I imagine, for most of you reading this, that you know exactly who this describes over the last two years of his leadership of the United States. Unfortunately, this is the answer as to why so many of his alt-right, and supremacist followers have grabbed a hold of Trump’s coat-tales and are riding in the wind, like a schooner in the America’s Cup.

Trump has mainly represented the voice of what is now the minority of Americans who support him still. I’ve seen so many individuals who previously supported Trump on both Facebook and Twitter, delete memes, photos, and previous posts in support of this Demagogue born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
“He represents all that is wrong with the world, wars, hunger, and the struggling poor. He is the answer to who is destroying our Constitutional rights.”

Here’s a list of Trump statements charging racial division among American voters:

He uses the gang MS-13 to disparage all immigrants. Among many other statements, he has suggested that Obama’s protection of the Dreamers — otherwise law-abiding immigrants who were brought to the United States illegally as children — contributed to the spread of MS-13.
In December 2015, Trump called for a “a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States,” including refusing to readmit Muslim-American citizens who were outside of the country at the time.
Trump said a federal judge hearing a case about Trump University was biased because of the judge’s Mexican heritage.
In June 2017, Trump said 15,000 recent immigrants from Haiti “all have AIDS” and that 40,000 Nigerians, once seeing the United States, would never “go back to their huts” in Africa.
At the White House on Jan. 11, Trump vulgarly called for less immigration from Haiti and Africa and more from Norway.
Obama As Unqualified,
Lazy and Un-American

Donald J. Trump✔@realDonaldTrump
An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama’s birth certificate is a fraud.
4:23 PM — Aug 6, 2012
He spent years suggesting that the nation’s first black president was born not in the United States but in Kenya, a lie that Trump still has not acknowledged as such.
Trump called Obama (who was editor in chief of the Harvard Law Review) “a terrible student, terrible.”

Donald J. Trump✔@realDonaldTrump
Obama has admitted that he spends his mornings watching @ESPN. Then he plays golf, fundraises & grants amnesty to illegals.
5:03 PM — Dec 16, 2014
Trump frequently claimed that Obama did not work hard as president.
Trump falsely claimed that President Obama “issued a statement for Kwanzaa but failed to issue one for Christmas.”
He often casts heavily black American cities as dystopian war zones. In a 2016 debate with Hillary Clinton, Trump said, “Our inner cities, African Americans, Hispanics are living in hell because it’s so dangerous. You walk down the street, you get shot.” Trump also said to black voters: “You’re living in poverty; your schools are no good; you have no jobs.”
He frequently offers false crime statistics to exaggerate urban crime, including about Oakland, Philadelphia and Ferguson, Mo.

Donald J. Trump✔@realDonaldTrump
Just out report: “United Kingdom crime rises 13% annually amid spread of Radical Islamic terror.” Not good, we must keep America safe!
6:31 AM — Oct 20, 2017
He is quick to highlight crimes committed by dark-skinned people, sometimes exaggerating or lying about them (such as a claim about growing crime from “radical Islamic terror” in Britain). He is very slow to decry hate crimes committed by whites against dark-skinned people (such as the killing of an Indian man in Kansas last year).
He frequently criticizes prominent African-Americans for being unpatriotic, ungrateful and disrespectful.
He called Puerto Ricans who criticized his administration’s response to Hurricane Maria “politically motivated ingrates.”
He has retweeted white nationalists without apology.
He called some of those who marched alongside white supremacists in Charlottesville, Va., last August “very fine people.”
After David Duke, the former leader of the Ku Klux Klan, endorsed him, Trump was reluctant to disavow Duke even when asked directly on television.
Trump hired Steve Bannon as his campaign head and later White House chief strategist. Under Bannon’s leadership, the website Breitbart madewhite nationalism a central theme. It featured a section, for example, on “black crime.”
Trump endorsed and campaigned for Roy Moore, the Alabama Senate candidate who spoke positively about slavery and who called for an African-American Muslim member of Congress not to be seated because of his religion.
Trump pardoned — and fulsomely praises — Joe Arpaio, the Arizona sheriff sanctioned for racially profiling Latinos and for keeping immigrants in brutal prison conditions.]
In the 1990s, Trump took out advertisements alleging that the “Mohawk Indian record of criminal activity is well documented.” At the time, he was fighting competition for his casino business.
In a 1993 radio interview, he suggested that Native Americans in Connecticut were faking their ancestry. “I think I might have more Indian blood than a lot of the so-called Indians that are trying to open up the reservations.”
In a November 2017 meeting with Navajo veterans of World War II, Trump mocked Senator Elizabeth Warren as “Pocahontas.”
Ben White✔@morningmoneyben
Trump today: “Hillary Clinton meets in secret with international banks to plot the destruction of U.S. sovereignty.” Fascist code for “Jews”
6:32 PM — Oct 13, 2016
Trump has trafficked in anti-Semitic caricatures, including the tweeting of a six-pointed star alongside a pile of cash. He has also been reluctant to condemn anti-Semitic attacks on journalists from his supporters, and he echoed neo-Nazi conspiracy theories by saying that Hillary Clinton “meets in secret with international banks to plot the destruction of U.S. sovereignty in order to enrich these global financial powers, her special interest friends and her donors.”
In a White House meeting with a Korean-American intelligence analyst briefing him on Pakistan, Trump wondered aloud why she was not working on North Korea policy.
Trump once referred to a Hispanic Miss Universe as “Miss Housekeeping.”
At a June 2016 campaign rally, Trump pointed to one attendee and said: “Oh, look at my African-American over here. Look at him.”

(List courtesy of the NY Times)
How much responsibility does Trump bear for the synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh?
Political rhetoric matters, and he’s had some unfortunate things to say about Jewsmedium.com

Supremacists are going wild across America!

So, here we arrive at the outcome of all of what President Donald J. Trump has represented since January 2016, when he was Inaugurated. White Supremacy across America, a small group abeit, is growing and empowering themselves day by day, encouraged by the monster-in-chief’s “smoke and mirrors” diatribe.

The rise of Supremacist mass shootings has climbed to an unprecedented number. However, many who challenge me on my postings of articles on this subject, and the presence of yet, unabashed racism, state that I’m not being fair, by not pointing out all the blacks citizens shooting themselves up, and that if I’m going to point out a few Supremacist shootings, that I better point out the black communities struggles with shootings, and “mass shootings” of four or more of their own race.

This argument and the very nature of pointing it out, raises the question: “Why are you yourself, only focusing on the shootings of black communities, and not the white trash communities where the same thing takes place?” Though, not quite of the same amount of shootings.

Taking such a position, so enraged, as to point out just the black communities struggles, supplants the seed of racism within the very nature of their argument. Supremacy shines right through their teeth, and spews hatred all over social media. I’m not calling for hatred of Supremacists.

I’m not calling for the deaths of Supremacists, even though, the killers should be given capital punishment all around. I’m not going to sit here and name call them either. It’s useless, and those of us who see reality already have our feelings and descriptions swimming through our brains. So, we don’t need more of that here.

However, it is a problem. What is happening with these type of mass shootings is completely different from the shootings in the black community over poverty, drugs, turf, relationships gone bad, etc. This is a real hate and race driven form of mass shootings, killing completely innocent people, who are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not involved in some form of crime that puts them in a shooting situation. This kind of support for White Supremacists must end, and those who do it, have got to come to their common senses, and get a grip on reality.

Now, I know this is getting long, but I’m sure you scanned through the list above. I am adding one more important list here, as a reminder of what is happening across this great nation of ours, more and more often, as you also pick up on the dates next to each killer’s name, who is white. Not Muslim, not Mexican, not black, yellow, red or green (aliens have been known to kill a few humans, if you follow that sort of stuff.

Concertgoers in Las Vegas ran for cover as gunshots rang out. CreditDavid Becker/Getty Images

Oct. 1, 2017. Las Vegas — A gunman opened fire on a crowd of more than 22,000 at a concert in Las Vegas, killing 58 people and injuring about 500, the authorities said, making it one of the deadliest mass shootings ever in the United States. The suspect, Stephen Paddock, 64, killed himself in his hotel room at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino.

CreditSmiley N. Pool/The Dallas Morning News, via Associated Press

July 7, 2016. Dallas — Five Dallas police officers were killed after a military veteran ambushed them in a sniper attack during a demonstration against fatal police shootings. Officials said the veteran, Micah Johnson, targeted officers as retribution. He was killed by the police with a robot-delivered explosive device.

Ray Rivera, a D.J. at the Pulse nightclub, was consoled outside of the Orlando Police Department after a shooting at the club. CreditJoe Burbank/Orlando Sentinel, via Associated Press

June 12, 2016. Orlando, Fla. — Forty-nine people were killed and 53 were injured at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Fla., surpassing the 2007 killings at Virginia Tech. The authorities identified the gunman as Omar Mateen, 29, an American citizen living in Port St. Lucie, Fla.

First responders treated victims of a shooting in San Bernardino, Calif., on Dec. 2.CreditKTTV TV, via Associated Press

Dec. 2, 2015. San Bernardino, Calif. — Police in San Bernardino mounted an intense manhunt for an armed couple who fired dozens of shots inside a conference hall where county employees had gathered at a service center for people with disabilities, leaving at least 14 dead and 17 wounded.

Police escorted a woman who was rescued from the Planned Parenthood facility in Colorado Springs on Nov. 27. CreditJustin Edmonds/Getty Images

Nov. 27, 2015. Colorado Springs — Three people were killed — a police officer and two civilians — and nine were wounded when a gunman opened fire with an assault rifle at a Planned Parenthood clinic. Robert L. Dear Jr., 57, surrendered more than five hours after the first shots were fired.

Community college students, evacuated Thursday, described how a public speaking class became a scene of carnage and panic. CreditMichael Sullivan/The News-Review, via Associated Press

Oct. 1, 2015. Roseburg, Ore. — At least 10 people were shot dead at Umpqua Community College in southern Oregon after Chris Harper Mercer, 26, opened fire. The gunman died in an exchange of fire with the police.

F.B.I. agents at the scene at the Armed Forces Career Center in Chattanooga, Tenn., in July.CreditKevin Liles for The New York Times

July 16, 2015. Chattanooga, Tenn. — Four Marines and a Navy petty officer were killed after a man opened fire at two military locations. The Federal Bureau of Investigation identified the gunman, who also died, as Mohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez, 24.

A scene from a vigil at Morris Brown African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C., for the victims. CreditTravis Dove for The New York Times

June 17, 2015. Charleston, S.C. — Nine people were shot dead at a historic black church in Charleston, S.C. The victims ranged in age from 26 to 87 and included the Rev. Clementa C. Pinckney, a prominent state senator. The police arrested Dylann Storm Roof, 21, a white supremacist who had published a racist manifesto online.

11 people were gunned down at a Pittsburgh synagogue. Here are their stories
The Pittsburgh synagogue shooting victims include a pair of brothers, a couple who were married in the synagogue, and a…www.cnn.com

Opinion | Donald Trump's Racism: The Definitive List
Donald Trump has been obsessed with race for the entire time he has been a public figure. He had a history of making…www.nytimes.com

Mass Shootings in the U.S.
This partial list dates from 2007, when a student opened fire at Virginia Tech University in Blacksburg, killing more…www.nytimes.com

In Conclusion

If these photos don’t rip at your inner soul, and cause you to well up a little, then maybe you should look deep inside and practice some mindfulness, and try some meaningful cultural, socializing to broaden your horizons. Trump, Supremacists and all haters are trying to overtake your country, your Constitutional rights, and stomp on them with their version of a Hitleresque nationalist agenda. Be aware of the reality of this, because a small faction of racists can rise and wipe out millions of human beings. Do we really wanted these times in history to start repeating themselves in the United States of America, in the 21st Century?

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